How To Get Your Kid, Mother In Law, Or Spouse Off Your Back
My father was a great schmoozer. Everyone loved to sit around and talk to him. The problem was, however, that he was a cook in a teenage boy’s school and the guys would leave class to talk to my dad. My father didn’t really mind (as much as people loved to talk to him, he loved to talk to people) but he felt that it wasn’t good for them or him that they spent so much time in the kitchen. Firstly, he believed that the proper place for the boys attending school was the classroom and NOT the kitchen. He didn’t want people to ruin the chance of getting a good education, something that he was not able to get.
Secondly, as long as they were there in the kitchen he couldn’t get HIS job done.
In the course of time he developed a real simple but effective strategy to get the guys to return to class. When he felt that “enough was enough” he would say, “John, you know your just sitting here anyways, maybe you could help me and sweep over there!” Almost every time the boy would reply, “Love to help you Mr. Pepper but I have to go to class now.”
Mr. Pepper, 1- Boy, 0!
This strategy (which is called “the broom story” in my house) has many uses with your children, mother in law, and spouse. Firstly, when they ask you do something for them that is hard for you to simply say, “no”, you simply agree with their request BUT make a condition that they have to do that sounds real.
For instance, “Mom, can you drive me to basketball practice”. “Sure”, you answer, “but I can’t go until I finish the dishes. Finish the dishes and I’ll take you.” You probably won’t end up taking him, but even if he does do his part of the bargain- dries the dishes- and you do have to take him, at least gained his help!
Secondly, it’s an effective strategy to prevent someone from doing something that you don’t want them to do.
For instance, let’s say that your mother in law wants to take care of your children and you DON’T want her to. (Whenever she takes care of them she gives them so much candy and cake that they don’t feel themselves for a few days). The way to answer this request is simple, “That would be great (lie). But can you first go to the post office and pick up a package for me. (or something that you know she doesn’t like to do). She’ll make up some excuse why she can’t go for you and you’re “off the hook”.
This tactic like all tactics is not 100% effective and obviously it is much easier to use with children than with adults. However, the more you use it and the more smoothly you say it , you will see that it is a VERY effective tool.
To learn more strategies to deal with ALL AGE people (from 2 to 90) click here to access a copy of “Talking To Toddlers” (don’t get fooled by the name!) and make your dealings with your children, your spouse, and even your mother-in-law much easier.
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