How are Budgeting and Marriage Connected?
There are one of three reasons why you are reading this article. You have a great marriage but your family finances are one big mess. You feel that if you don’t get them in order quickly it will eventually strain your presently great relationship with your spouse. A second reason why you are reading this article is that your finances are in order but there is constant tension between you and your spouse. Or it might be both; your family finances are bad and your relationship with your spouse is bad.. Regardless of the category that you fall under you have to know that the way you handle your finances has a very strong effect on your marriage. In this article I hope to show you a few ways to go about discussing your financial finances with your spouse so as strengthen your marriage.
1. Discuss it as soon as possible. This seems obvious but many couples are so scared and terrified to discuss their family finances with each other that they either deny that there is a problem altogether or they ignore the problem and hope that things will work out by themselves. This is a huge mistake because things just don’t work like that and if your finances are left untouched it will usually just get worse. You and your spouse won’t change their spending patterns just like that, but you will have to make a conscience effort to change it. Therefore the problem has to be put on the table in order to solve it ASAP.
2. Set up a time to do it. You can discuss the weather, sports, or politics just in passing. Important matters, however, have to be spoken about purposely and intentionally. Ask your spouse when they will have time to talk about it without any distractions. Before the discussion think through and jot down what points you want to speak about and think through how you will be able to say in way that your spouse will not be insulted or hurt. It takes thought but it is certainly worth the time and effort.
3. Don’t lie to your spouse or say half truths. No matter how frightened you are to talk to your spouse about the way that you spend money, whatever you do, don’t lie. Firstly, if you lie you won’t be able to fix up the problem. (imagine going to a doctor and to lie to him where it hurts). Secondly, when your spouse discovers that you lied they will lose trust in you for a long time to come. This can cause huge problems. Therefore, it’s not worth it to lie. Suffer the short term embarrassment for the long term gain.
In short getting your family finances in order is vital to the stability of your marriage and to your relationship. Therefore it cannot be ignored and has to be spoken about. Consciously find a good time for the discussion, tell the whole truth to arrive at a good solution, and then sit back and enjoy being married.
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