Family Arguments: 3 Ways To Avoid The Dangers Of Them
Don’t laugh but there are some caring and loving families that connect by arguing. I remember that when I was young (a fact that I constantly remind my children) I loved when my uncles would come to our house to eat the holiday meals and watch them argue the whole time. It was so much fun to watch; they would yell at each other trying to prove their point, eat a little, laugh a little and then they started round two. When I think of those meals I have such sweet memories.
If your family isn’t like this, and they communicate with each other in a more civil way, then don’t read on. However if your family likes having “heated discussions” then read this article to learn 3 ways to keep the argument “friendly” and not lethal.
1. Don’t insult and keep it impersonal. My uncles would passionately fight who was going to win the World Series (Brooklyn Dodgers or Boston Red Sox- I guess I am pretty old), who would make the best president, or which restaurant in our city had the best food. However, I never remember them calling each other names. They stuck to the topic. When you call someone a derogatory name, even in jest, he might take it to heart and the harm will last far longer than the argument itself. If you feel like calling your discussion partner a name take a few moments to calm down and drink a little soda. It’s not worth it to get into the mud slinging mode.
2. Avoid sarcasm. People think that sarcasm is a form of humor but do you know what that the word sarcasm comes from the Greek word that means “to rip flesh”! You might only be trying to be funny, and people will laugh at what you are saying, but you are really ripping off the flesh of the other one. (If you think that I’m exaggerating, just look at the eyes of the recipient of a sarcastic remark.) The scars from such remarks will probably take a long time to heal and those scars will last much longer than the holiday meal.
3. The most important tip; remember to apologize. When you see that, even though you were only arguing and you didn’t mean anything, the other person was hurt, APOLOGIZE. After all is said and done, the next winner of the World Series and the next president is 100% independent of the outcome of your argument in the dining room. However, you don’t want to be the one that caused pain to your relative. If you see that he is hurt just “be a big boy” and say, “Sorry for saying my feeling so strongly. Believe me you and the relationship that I have with you are more important to me than our silly argument.”
If your family communicates and connects by arguing there is no reason to stop it. However, be careful to keep the 3 above guidelines in mind and you’ll be able to argue with each other for many many years to come.
If the challenges of family life are getting you down, then you will gain tremendously from the “Fix Up Your Family” video library.
Click here to get FREE access to the library and learn practical tips, techniques,and strategies to help you successfully deal with family problems.
Comments
Leave a Reply
-
-
Click on the image below and
immediately download the practical and
helpful book
"How To G.E.T. R.I.D. O.F. Your
Imperfect Family"
-
Click on the image below and
immediately download the practical and
helpful book "How To Get Rid Of Your
Annoying Mother In Law".jpg)
-
Click on image below and
get immediate access to the audio recording
"3 Problems With Teens
and What To Do About Them"