Care For Elderly Parents - 3 Ways to Prepare the Family
Let’s face it, as much as we want to take care of elderly parents and bring them into our homes to help them, it is not an easy task. Not only is it tough on the adult child but it is all difficult for the whole family. This being so, before your “permanent guests”, grandpa/grandma move in you should prepare the whole family, young and old for their arrival. In this article I will discuss some of the things that should be discussed with your children so the taking care of the elderly parent (grandparent) will go smoothly.
1. Explain to them the symptoms and characteristics of your parents ailment. For instance, if your parents suffer from dementia they might ask the same question over and over again. If you and your children are not prepared for this then you will be caught off guard and you might laugh at them answer them very harshly and disrespectful, “You just asked me that 5 times!”. If, however, you are expecting such behavior then you will calmly and respectfully answer their question over and over again, saving your parents embarrassment and distress.
If you yourself don’t know what they are, then just ask your doctor for some information about the illness our go on-line and “Google” it. There are many informative sites that explain many types of illnesses for the laymen.
2. Discuss with your children the physical changes that you planning to make in the house. For many illnesses you will need to change the physical set-up of your house. You might need to move a child out of their room into a different and smaller room. You might convert a part of the house where they liked to relax or play and make it into a room for grandpa.
If you explain to them BEFOREHAND why you are doing what you are doing then they might have and alternative plan (children can be very creative- especially to protect their own space). Even if you won’t find an alternative plan, they will understand why you are doing what you are doing and they won’t resent their grandparents (or you).
3. Discuss with them the way that they can help. It is very admirable to take care of elderly parents. However it is not a one man show. It is very stressful and time consuming. And you need all the help that you can get.
Even though there are some things that your children can’t do (for instance to bath their grandparents) there are a lot of ways in which they can help. They can read to them, they can take them for walks, or they can play board games with them. Whatever way that you feel your children can help to take care of elderly parents, discuss it with them before they move in. Like this, they will feel useful (which they really are) and not being used.
Taking care of elderly parents and having them move in with your family is admirable, proper, and tough. Not only on you but on the whole family. Prepare them for what is coming in order to make the move as seamless as possible.
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Thanks for your comment, Kay and I fully agree with you. Look at my blogpost “Are Elderly Parents A Burden or a Blessing?” (just go to the table of contents at the top of the blog) and I mention there 5 things that ONLY elderly parents can do for the children and grandchildren.